Rwandan Grand Prix
10 03 2010Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: humor, internet video
Categories : DeScepter
Fun At Work
5 03 2010I was at work the other day, running around dealing with an 8-year-old who likes to eat poop and wasn’t wearing any pants. Or underwear. Few things in the world will make you feel like a dirty pedophile as frolicking with a half nude little boy. Especially when he decides he wants some Sensory Integration therapy, which involves things like hugs, squeezes, pressure and lifting. I basically have Michael Jackson’s dream job.
When I’m not busy doing my best to avoid molesting my client (“T”), I also have to deal with his 5-year-old nephew (“J”). This little guy has plenty of issues of his own, not including having an autistic uncle that is only 3 years older than he is. I have the privilege of having J home during the therapy sessions because he is only allowed to go to school for half-days, in the afternoon, because he was punching too many people in his class.
J is actually a cool little guy, but he is desperate for attention and tends to get in the middle of anything I try to accomplish. I usually find ways to include him, and try to help him out in dealing with his own aggression and hyperactivity. It isn’t easy to work with one child that has autism and another that has Conduct disorder at the same time, but I do what I can.
I was giving T a break from therapy when J came up to me and showed me a little white rectangle he had. It turned out to be a handheld electronic version of Battleship. He wanted to show me how it worked, so I sat there and watched him fumble with the game. He wasn’t able to do much more than make it beep at him, but I wasn’t about to tell him how to play the game. I get yelled at enough when he plays LEGO Indiana Jones on his Xbox.
After a few minutes of fumbling, he declared victory, and then spiked the game down on the hardwood floor.
“Careful,” I told him “You’re going to break that.”
“No I won’t” He said.
“…uh, yes you will. You shouldn’t just throw it on the ground like that.”
“But it can’t break, it’s made of plastic.”
I’ve noticed that he also slams his Xbox controllers down on the ground when the batteries start to die. He claims this recharges them.
Well, I don’t have much more to say beyond that other than I wish I lived in a magical “Plastic is indestructible and brute force recharges dying batteries” fantasy land and that I generally enjoy my job.
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Tags: autism, coprophagia, excellent parenting, therapy, work
Categories : DeScepter
Monday, WTF?
1 03 2010Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: "Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays"
Categories : DeScepter
Green Screen Is Everywhere
28 02 2010
Consider my mind blown.
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Tags: green screen, television
Categories : 15894409
Lady GaGa Doesn’t Have A Penis. Anymore. (And She Is A Terrorist)
21 02 2010Lady GaGa always catches a lot of shit because people think she has a penis. This is probably because she looks like a man, and her schtick is lifted directly from the New York drag queen scene. It obviously is working out for her, but it leaves people with the sneaking suspicion that she is smuggling sausage.
If you see any early videos of her when she was just Stefani Germanotta and not Lady GaGa, you’ll see that she was a fairly talented young singer without an exceptional voice or stage presence. She has obviously transformed herself into some kind of shameless attention-whoring monster that is one of today’s biggest pop stars.
Some people admire her for this transformation. They think that she is a marketing genius that has made the most out of her limited musical talent, and that without this transformation she would be just another face in the sea of unremarkable talent desperate for success.
Well if Lady GaGa is a marketing genius worthy of admiration then so is Osama Bin Laden. He exploited a bit of religious eccentricity into a world-spanning terrorist organization that strikes fear into the hearts of millions, and has made his face one of the most widely recognized in the world. Virtually everyone in the world knows his name, who he is, and what he represents.
Just so we are being very clear, this is what I am saying:
LADY GAGA IS JUST LIKE OSAMA BIN LADEN. IN FACT, SHE IS WORSE THAN BIN LADEN BECAUSE SHE CORRUPTS THE MINDS OF AMERICA’S YOUTH AND HER FLAMBOYANT SEXUALITY AND DISREGARD FOR MORALS ARE REPRESENTATIVE OF ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. LADY GAGA AND PEOPLE LIKE HER ARE WHY THE TERRORISTS HATE US. LADY GAGA IS A TERRORIST. A CULTURAL TERRORIST. AND SHE DESERVES TO BE SENT TO GUANTANAMO BAY SO SHE CAN BE WATERBOARDED AND FISTFUCKED BY ANGRY AMERICAN SOLDIERS! LADY GAG MAKES BABY JESUS CRY, AND SHE IS THE DEVIL!
(Hey, I wouldn’t be doing my job as a blogger if I did not make extremist and unwarranted attacks on people I don’t even know)
Oh, and if you care, Lady GaGa recently went out of her way to disprove those “secret penis” rumors. Here is the proof:
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Tags: cultural terrorism, fuck you Lady Gaga, Lady GaGa, Osama Bin Laden, terrorism
Categories : DeScepter
Well That Backfired
18 02 2010Sassafras: [looking confused] Nothing.
DeScepter: Why not?
Sassafras: Because I’m not Catholic.
DeScepter: So?
Sassafras: Ok fine, I’ll give up sex. How about that?
DeScepter: No! Don’t do that!
Sassafras: Why not?
DeScepter: Because… Jesus… hates… abstinence.
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Tags: conversations with Sassafras, Lent, Sassafras, sex
Categories : DeScepter



