J.D. Salinger died. He was this guy that wrote a book about some little asshole kid that gets expelled from school and then spends time not having sex with prostitutes and getting drunk or something. It’s supposed to be really good. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never read it. Mostly because I like how pissed off people get at me when they find out I’ve not read it.
But I think admitting to have never read The Catcher in the Rye is better than being a big phony and reading it and then pretending that makes me intelligent or cultured. I always thought the book was about a baseball player and a baker who have a torrid homosexual affair.
This is my mental image of "The Catcher in the Rye".
Salinger was also famous for being batshit insane and drinking his own piss. So he seemed like a cool dude.
But more importantly, Zelda Rubinstein died. And she is someone who has had far more of an impact on my life. Zelda is best known as “that weird little dwarf lady with the funny voice and magic powers” in Poltergeist. She was also in Sixteen Candles, although few people seem to remember her role and I can’t find any videos online to show you that she was in it. Oh well. But I did manage to pull myself together enough to make this picture in her memory:
This picture makes nerds super pissed.
Thank you for the lovely comment you left on my blog. I left a reply for you. I don’t think having read The Catcher in the Rye makes me smart. I just like the book.
This made me laugh very, very hard. I read “Catcher” twice and didn’t like it either time. I hated the idea of a character that continuously regresses into infancy (despite starting from an extremely immature position in the first place) not because I dig happy endings but mostly because I feel that you should learn something from characters and Holden taught me jack shit.
Vanessa, I’ve attempted to respond to your comments on your blog, but it appears that it is not going through. So I’ll post it here:
“They say that using sarcasm on the internet is like winking on the phone. Despite that, I was sure the “phony” quip would suffice.
I didn’t mean to raise your hackles. My main point is that I am bothered by those who extol Salinger’s work despite having only read “Catcher” (and failing to understand it at that). I think deeming oneself an “intellectual” for having once read a particular book runs contrary to the message that Salinger was trying to send in his novel. But then it’s not nearly as charming when I have to spell it out for you. You big phony.
(As an aside- it may seem rather morbid, but some part of you should be HAPPY about Salinger’s passing. He has continued writing throughout his life, and the executor of his estate is almost certainly going to allow some of his works to be published posthumously. So in some ways, Salinger’s death is a blessing. We will now be able to read literature from a great author that we otherwise would not have had access to.)”