What an epic week of football for all haters: •The Lions went 0-16, thus setting a new record for sucking ass in the NFL. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody, although I was afraid the Packers were going to completely drop the ball and let those fuckers win. •Big Ben Roethlisberger broke his head playing in a completely pointless game for the Steelers, and they may have lost him for the...
Christmas is an odd holiday. I spent last night rocking a plaster baby Jesus to sleep while my family sang it songs. Then, when we were fully satisfied that the figurine had been appeased, we put him on a silver platter covered in Hershey’s Kisses. I then passed the platter around so that my family could kiss baby Jesus on his head, and take some chocolates from the platter. When this was...
Beware Of Dog: He Will Shit On You
I really like these new Pedigree dog food ads. They just come right out and tell you that your dog will smell horrible and shit everywhere unless you buy their food. The look on the dog’s face in the second one is priceless.
His Chronic Masturbation Would Come In Handy
Hambone: [to his brother] Hey guess what? I got a new job today! Brother: Oh, yea? Where? Hambone: I’m gonna collect semen from bulls! [not true.] Brother: No, where did you really get a job? Hambone: I’m serious! Just ask DeScepter! Me: [nodding vigorously] Yea. Your brother is going to jack off cows for a living. Hambone: Hey- they are bulls! Not cows. There is a difference. Me: Whatever....
Uh-oh. Betty Page has died. The sexual icon died at the age of 85, after suffering a heart attack and slipping into a coma approximately a week ago. Betty Page is an incredibly interesting figure. She essentially stumbled into her career as a pinup and erotic model, and never realized her enormous impact on American culture until late in her life. She changed the way we view pornography...
Only In Wisconsin
Aves: Your one stop shop for stuffed squirrels and gourmet cheese by the pound.