Wabi-Sabi

I genuinely hope that the Arizona Cardinals can defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl today. I don’t really have anything against the Steelers; they’re OK. And I am not exactly a Cardinals fan, although I have always had a soft spot for them (which is easier to admit now that they have finally made it to a Super Bowl).

But I want the Cards to win for two reasons:

1. I always root for the underdog in these games. And everyone expects the Steelers to win. Anyone that says otherwise, is a goddamn liar, and is being a contrary prick (like myself).

2. I hope that all the fat fucking Steelers fans like the one pictured above are sent into a depression triggered feeding frenzy, which will result in widespread cake shortages and heart attacks. The rise in junk food and extra-wide casket purchases may provide the boost that this economy needs! Let’s make this happen people!

I read an article recently that was simply atrocious. It so completely riddled with scientific misconceptions and inaccuracies that I almost think that the writer is deliberately trying to troll every intelligent person who reads it. I simply find it amazing that someone can write a scientific editorial for a major publication and have it be so incredibly inaccurate about the basics of evolutionary science and history. Don’t they have editors to check this kind of stuff?

Here is the meat of her article:

“Some water fleas sport a spiny helmet that deters predators; others, with identical DNA sequences, have bare heads. What differs between the two is not their genes but their mothers’ experiences. If mom had a run-in with predators, her offspring have helmets, an effect one wag called “bite the mother, fight the daughter.” If mom lived her life unthreatened, her offspring have no helmets. Same DNA, different traits. Somehow, the experience of the mother, not only her DNA sequences, has been transmitted to her offspring.

That gives strict Darwinians heart palpitations, for it reeks of the discredited theory of Jean-Baptiste Lamarck (1744–1829). The French naturalist argued that the reason giraffes have long necks, for instance, is that their parents stretched their (shorter) necks to reach the treetops. Offspring, Lamarck said, inherit traits their parents acquired. With the success of Darwin’s theory of random variation and natural selection, Lamarck was left on the ash heap of history. But new discoveries of what looks like the inheritance of traits acquired by parents—lab animals as well as people—are forcing biologists to reconsider Lamarckism.”

and later…

“The existence of this parallel means of inheritance, in which something a parent experiences alters the DNA he or she passes on to children, suggests that evolution might happen much faster than the Darwinian model implies.”

She is simply describing epigenetics and phenotypic plasticity in a species. Although this is interesting, these are not new and grand discoveries in the world of evolutionary or biological science. These have been observed and explained for years. It is important to remember that genes do not represent a blueprint for fatalistic development in a species or an individual. Genes respond to environmental factors. This is why a stressed water flea has different offspring from an unstressed water flea. This can also be seen in humans, based on this study (which she actually cites in the article!). Water fleas have a genetic makeup that determines the development of head spines based on environmental conditions. This took millions of generations to develop. Seeing the various genetic phenotypes expressed in a single generation isn’t Lamarckism.

She is also implying that Lamarck and Darwin had conflicting theories about the inheritance of physical characteristics. They didn’t. Both Lamarck and Darwin believed that parents passed on their physical characteristics to their offspring. However, Darwin believed that this would eventually result in an entirely new species, while Lamarck believed that species were fixed but could change (slightly) over time. They were both wrong, as shown by the Weismann barrier. The fact that Darwin was wrong about certain things in his theory has been used to discredit evolution numerous times by Creationists. It may come as a shock to them, but science does allow for the specifics of a 150 year old theory to be challenged and changed while the basic fundamentals hold true.

Darwin didn’t know about genes or DNA, and he didn’t have a proper understanding for how inheritance of features worked. He took what knowledge he had and formed an explanation for feature inheritance that we now know was incorrect. But that in no way changes the basic truth of his Evolutionary Theory. Because Darwin never had a theory for genetic inheritance, a poorly written and researched article about the mechanisms of gene inheritance cannot prove him wrong. “Heart palpitations” my ass.

 This video is honestly one of the funniest things I have seen on the Internet. Sure, it doesn’t have that lowbrow gut-busting hilarity of seeing a man getting hit in the nuts with a ball, but it is better written and acted than most other scripted Internet videos.
 

[vodpod id=ExternalVideo.774675&w=425&h=350&fv=]

I am seriously considering doing a shot-by-shot remake starring me and Hambone.

The Surfrider Foundation and Saatchi & Saatchi LAhave an interesting new ad campaign to illustrate just how bad oceanic pollution has become.

 

From the Provisions Library blog:

“In their continuing efforts to battle the ever growing mounds of garbagepolluting our oceans and coastlines, Surfrider Foundationjoined forces with Saatchi & Saatchi LAto sponsor the aptly titled Catch of the Day guerrilla ad campaign. Trash was collected from beaches across the US, then sorted, packaged like seafood, and strategically placed around local farmers’ markets. Directly targeting seafood consumers, this creative campaign draws attention to the gross debris littering our oceans and highlights how this pollution affects the consumer directly through the food they eat. Even if you’re not partial to seafood, its hard to miss the message!”

Sassafras: What time is it?

Me: Aunt Jemima’s vagina.

Sassafras: Um…that’s not a real time.

Me: Sure it is. You’ve never heard of it? It’s also known as gross o’clock.

*** 

Sassafras: [after somehow managing to imbibe 32 oz. of soda in a single afternoon] I have to go potty!

Me: Ok.

Sassafras: Number one!

Me: Yea, uh, thanks for the head’s up.

Sassafras: No, I meant number one as in the first time I am going tonight! I didn’t mean, you know, “number one”.

Me: Sure. Whatever you say, sweetheart.

I am not looking forward to this…

And all this time I’ve been thinking that I hate contemporary pop music because I am turning into a cranky old man.

Unless you are a complete moron, you know that today, Barack Obama was inaugurated as the President of the United States of America.

[caption id=”” align=”aligncenter” width=”500” caption=”A satellite photo taken during the inauguration.”]

[/caption]

Unfortunately for me, I had to work during the entire event. So I had to come home and watch Obama grin and bear it during all the pomp and circumstance that accompanied the event. He looked fairly impatient and anxious throughout the whole thing. It seemed like he was thinking “Yes! I am finally the President! Now let’s get down to work damn it!”

I understand that the people need to see all the celebration and ceremony occur; it’s how they know that a great and important event has happened. And I understand that it is important for the President to watch the endless parade of marching bands, lest he appear disrespectful. But it was nice to see him look mildly bored and impatient with all that, as it shows that he is a man that doesn’t like to sit idly while he could be doing something productive. Let’s hope this guy gets some good shit done.

Finally, I didn’t see it, but I am sure sick of hearing about the Presidential oath being flubbed. Seriously, could we argue about anything more trivial than how well the oath was spoken or given?

This commercial really pisses me off. Now normally, I find AT&T’s ‘Alter Ego’ commercials entertaining (as far as commercials go). But this one just does not make any goodamn sense, and it irritates the hell out of me.

Here’s why:

• Snowman cannot own phones! It’s absurd! Where would he keep it? He doesn’t have pockets. And if he did own a cell phone, how would he answer it? HE HAS STICKS FOR ARMS, DAMMIT!

•Let’s say, for argument’s sake, he DOES own a cell phone. What good does it do him to know a heat wave is coming? He doesn’t have legs anyway. It’s not like he could roll his frozen ass to safety.

• Who are the “kids” he refers to? Are they his kids? Can snowmen reproduce? Wouldn’t they melt in the heat wave as well? Maybe he is referring to the kids that made him. If that is the case, what kind of horrible little monsters are they that they are allowing a sentient snowman to die right in front of their house?

• He refers to “turning into a puddle of buttons and carrot sticks”. Carrot sticks. Plural. As in more than the one we see on his face. This leads me to conclude that this snowman in fact has a carrot penis. Which I guess would answer my question about snowman reproduction.

• Why is he so cheery about dying? He is literally burning to death before our very eyes, and he can’t help put smile and chuckle at his predicament. This commercial is basically a snuff film.

 

Please buy this sweatshirt. Your liver will thank you.

Apparently, this little fella finds other cats so repugnant that he will even attack the image of another cat.



I wonder what would happen if this cat was ever confronted with a mirror?

I had a pretty good weekend.

I had the opportunity to go to Minneapolis to see the Vikings play the Eagles in the NFC Wild Card Round. Lucky for me, Vikings fans are a bunch of no good dipshits, so there were plenty of tickets available on the cheap. In fact, the game was at risk of a blackout in Minnesota.

Now, I am by no means a Vikings or Eagles fan. In fact, I have a strong dislike for both teams. But Hambone is a pretty big Vikings fan, and he called me earlier this week and asked me if I wanted to go. Seeing as neither of us have been to a NFL game (not counting the preseason), I happily agreed.

Our seats were great- we had a spectacular view of the field. Not too shabby for $160. Now I know that may seem pricy to some people. But you need to remember that I live in Wisconsin, so I would spend at least that much on Packers preseason tickets. And I shudder to think about the gross sexual favors I would have to doll out in order to try and even get the opportunity to pay for Packers Playoff tickets.

Overall, the experience was great. I’ll not bore you with the details. In short- The drive there was terrible. Minneapolis sucks. Our hotel had a Medieval Castle theme. Philly fans are assholes. The game was great, and lots of fun. Tarvaris Jackson is a horrible, horrible quarterback. We got lost on the way home.

When I got home, Sassafras informed me that my Xbox 360 had finally succumbed to the dreaded Red Rind of Death. This didn’t really come as a surprise as Sassafras bought me the thing the day it was released (best Christmas gift ever), and I have definitely put it through its paces in the past three years. Frankly, I am fortunate that it has taken this long for the thing to die on me. Still, I am not pleased, and don’t look forward to several weeks without video games while I wait for it to be repaired.