I genuinely hope that the Arizona Cardinals can defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl today. I don’t really have anything against the Steelers; they’re OK. And I am not exactly a Cardinals fan, although I have always had a soft spot for them (which is easier to admit now that they have finally made it to a Super Bowl).
But I want the Cards to win for two reasons:
1. I always root for the underdog in these games. And everyone expects the Steelers to win. Anyone that says otherwise, is a goddamn liar, and is being a contrary prick (like myself).
2. I hope that all the fat fucking Steelers fans like the one pictured above are sent into a depression triggered feeding frenzy, which will result in widespread cake shortages and heart attacks. The rise in junk food and extra-wide casket purchases may provide the boost that this economy needs! Let’s make this happen people!