Watch This Through To The End
It isn’t often that a video on the internet makes me dry heave until my eyes water. This one did. Fair warning.
I'm At A Football Game
Hambone, Sassfaras and I are at the Vikings/Bears game in Minneapolis. Hambone and I went to the Vikings playoff game last season and got to watch them lose gloriously to the Eagles. We had so much fun, we decided to go again. I am hoping Brett Favre gets hit so hard that his ribs bust forth from his abdomen to disembowel him and I get to watch Favre slowly die in agony on the field as he futiley...
Happy Birthday Sassafras
Touchdown Tuesday Week 11
I’m still busy, so I am going to phone it in this week. Again. Just a few interesting things I wanted to point out for you: We got to see Devon Hester’s ass on TV. Somehow, a magic cloud of dust managed to set off the fire alarm in the hotel that the NY Jets were staying at in Boston. So the whole team had to wake up in the middle of the night and wait for firefighters to show up...
Loco Por Jesus
Touchdown Tuesday Week 10
My apologies for the tardiness on this week’s Touchdown Tuesday. I was drunk. The NFL handed out some fines last Friday: → Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler was fined $20,000 for talking shit to a referee. → Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco was fined $20,000 for jokingly bribing a referee. → Chicago Bears DT Tommy Harris was fined $8,500 for wrestling another player to the ground and...
University Of Stoopid
Sometimes I am amazed at just how mind-numbingly stupid college students are. Here is some dumb shit I’ve heard from them recently: ”Wait…when did Darwin discover gravity?” This was uttered in an upper level Renaissance History class during a discussion about Galileo Galilei’s trial. I’m not sure why the student thought a 19th Century Biologist...
Hey, Nice Jukebox
I like the sound of her head cracking against the hardwood floor. Welcome to Concussion City! Population: You.
Touchdown Tuesday Week 9
The last time the Arizona Cardinals played the Chicago Bears, “Train” Rex Grossman did his best to cost the Bears the game. He turned the ball over six times, and insured that the Bears did not score a single offensive touchdown. Still, the pesky Bears defense managed to win the game by preying on the meltdown of the Cardinals, despite being down three scores at halftime. The end...
Roger Sterling One-Liners
Last night was the Season Finale for Mad Men. It is a good show, and the internet says you are uncool and stupid if you don’t watch it. I normally hate on shows that douchebags insist I watch. But Mad Men is one of the few that lives up to the hype. I am a sucker for beautiful camera work and clever dialogue. One of my favorite characters is Roger Sterling (brilliantly played by John...
My Balls: "Cool As A Mountain Stream"
I am fresh out of the shower, and put some medicated body powder on my undercarriage. Now it feels like my balls are smoking a menthol cigarette. Ahhh, there is a minty breeze in my pants, and I like it. And now I don’t have to worry about my crevices getting all foul and sweaty. Life is good. (BTW- posts like this are a direct result of Twitter’s 140 character limit. I felt the need...
Akward Is Sexy
Here are some interesting ads for CERCA (Child and Adolescent Reference Center). I like how they don’t pull any punches in reflecting the realities of pedophilia. Sexual abuse of children is hardly ever mentioned by PSAs, and when it is, it is treated in a very subtle manner. That makes it far too easy to look the other way, instead of addressing and thinking seriously about the issue. I...
Touchdown Tuesday Week 8
The much-anticipated return of Brett Favre to Lambeau field turned out to be a pretty good game. It looked like it was going to be a blowout after the first half, but the Packers rallied and turned it into an exciting contest. I am not going to say too much more on it, we’ve all been subject to a massive amount of bullshit about this game already. You know the Packers lost, and the...
PCP Is One Hell Of A Drug
Man, I’ve done PCP and it was nothing like this video. Where are all the shooting stars? What about the seizures and uncontrollable violence? Why aren’t there any lizards? THERE ARE ALWAYS LIZARDS! They crawl in your skin and tell you all of Jesus’ secrets. [vodpod id=ExternalVideo.890783&w=425&h=350&fv=] more about “The Oklahoma News as Seen Through...
Please Take Note
When I started this blog, I flip flopped around various design templkates, titles, and addresses*. Eventually, I settled into how I have things set up now. One of the genius decisions I made was to not use the defualt font and text size for the template I chose. I forget why I decided to do that, but I’m sure I thought it was brilliant at the time. Turns out that it has mostly been a major...