Anybody Can Make Movies
This is hilarious. Tha acting is subtle. The dialogue is sublime. Everything about this scene is just so well done. You can really feel yourself getting attached to these characters and you yearn to learn more about the riveting storyline. Will that burn victim’s lips ever heal? Will Bomber Jacket Dude ever get to touch what he sees? Will Black Detective ever be cured of his random facial...
The News Spot Formula
I LOVED this.
Some People Died
J.D. Salinger died. He was this guy that wrote a book about some little asshole kid that gets expelled from school and then spends time not having sex with prostitutes and getting drunk or something. It’s supposed to be really good. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never read it. Mostly because I like how pissed off people get at me when they find out I’ve not read it. But I think...
LOL Brett Favre
LMFAO I’d just like to thank Adrian Peterson for his inability to h0ld onto a football when it really matters. I’d like to thank Brad Childress for his coaching “ability” and allowing his team to get a stupid penalty late in the game that took his team out of field goal range. But most of all I’d like to thank Brett Favre for providing me with the best dish of...
5-Second Films | Don’t Thinko de Mayo
The idea behind 5 Second Films is to create a complete story in just 5 seconds of footage (along with an additional 2 seconds of title screen and 1 second of credits). It is really great to see how people work within these restrictions to create things of great humor and, occasionally, real beauty. Many of the videos on the site are great. Even when you run into a “bad” video, it is...
Balls. I Trip Them.
The sickest I’ve ever been in my life was when I was 11-years-old and missed two weeks of school with the flu. It was pretty bad. I spent most of that period laying in bed, unable to walk, and totally miserable about my life. I don’t remember much about it because I slept a lot since I was in agony when I was awake. I do remember the night I got sick though. I was really tired so I...
Beatles 3000 A.D.
Don’t assume you’ll ever accomplish anything worth remembering. Time is a harsh mistress, and she has forgotten people who have been for more important than you will ever be. But don’t despair. This anonymity is a free pass to make all of your dreams come true, rather than striving to live up to ideals established long ago. So get out there, get drunk and fuck somebody. Or do...
¡Feliz Cumpleaños, Papa!
January 14th was my father’s birthday. He turned 47, and it is kind of amazing to me that he is still so damn young. Father’s have that knack for seeming like timeless and ancient figures that have been around forever and will contionue to be around long after you are gone. Yet your concious mind knows that they are mortal, and one day they won’t be here any more. My father is an...
I was thinking about that Jessie Ventura quote from the moviePredator, you know the one in the beginning of the movie when all the dudes are sitting around in the helicopter, Long Tall Sally by Little Richard is playing, and Ventura offers some guy chewing tobacco and he pusses out and says he doesn’t want any, and then Ventura says: “Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This...
I wonder if that hurt? It looks like it probably hurt real bad. This is why you don’t try and give an 8-dicked robot a handjob, no matter how safe he tells you it is. Octocock 9000 is a filthy fucking liar, and takes sick pleasure in grinding up people’s hands with his spinning dicks of doom.
I Heart Quotes: Cynical Edition
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist” - George Carlin
You're Going To Hell If You Laugh At This
A guy walks into a bar and sits down on a stool next to an old man. Some good conversation and a couple drinks later the guy says “I could fuck any girl in here” The old man says, “That’s pretty ambitious. What makes you think you can do that?” The guy says “I’m a rapist.”
Yeah baby. Lick that ice cream. Mmmm yeah. I like that.