When I’m not busy doing my best to avoid molesting my client (“T”),  I also have to deal with his 5-year-old nephew (“J”). This little guy has plenty of issues of his own, not including having an autistic uncle that is only 3 years older than he is. I have the privilege of having J home during the therapy sessions because he is only allowed to go to school for half-days, in the afternoon, because he was punching too many people in his class.

J is actually a cool little guy, but he is desperate for attention and tends to get in the middle of anything I try to accomplish. I usually find ways to include him, and try to help him out in dealing with his own aggression and hyperactivity. It isn’t easy to work with one child that has autism and another that has Conduct disorder at the same time, but I do what I can.

I was giving T a break from therapy when J came up to me and showed me a little white rectangle he had. It turned out to be a handheld electronic version of Battleship. He wanted to show me how it worked, so I sat there and watched him fumble with the game. He wasn’t able to do much more than make it beep at him, but I wasn’t about to tell him how to play the game. I get yelled at enough when he plays LEGO Indiana Jones on his Xbox.

The kids. This photo is intentionally blurry. Also, my phone's camera kind of sucks. You pervert.

After a few minutes of fumbling, he declared victory, and then spiked the game down on the hardwood floor.

“Careful,” I told him “You’re going to break that.”

“No I won’t” He said.

“…uh, yes you will. You shouldn’t just throw it on the ground like that.”

“But it can’t break, it’s made of plastic.”

I’ve noticed that he also slams his Xbox controllers down on the ground when the batteries start to die. He claims this recharges them.

Well, I don’t have much more to say beyond that other than I wish I lived in a magical “Plastic is indestructible and brute force recharges dying batteries” fantasy land and that I generally enjoy my job.

Consider my mind blown.

If you see any early videos of her when she was just Stefani Germanotta and not Lady GaGa, you’ll see that she was a fairly talented young singer without an exceptional voice or stage presence. She has obviously transformed herself into some kind of shameless attention-whoring monster that is one of today’s biggest pop stars.

Some people admire her for this transformation. They think that she is a marketing genius that has made the most out of her limited musical talent, and that without this transformation she would be just another face in the sea of unremarkable talent desperate for success.

Well if Lady GaGa is a marketing genius worthy of admiration then so is Osama Bin Laden. He exploited a bit of religious eccentricity into a world-spanning terrorist organization that strikes fear into the hearts of millions, and has made his face one of the most widely recognized in the world. Virtually everyone in the world knows his name, who he is, and what he represents.

Just so we are being very clear, this is what I am saying:

LADY GAGA IS JUST LIKE OSAMA BIN LADEN. IN FACT, SHE IS WORSE THAN BIN LADEN BECAUSE SHE CORRUPTS THE MINDS OF AMERICA’S YOUTH AND HER FLAMBOYANT SEXUALITY AND DISREGARD FOR MORALS ARE REPRESENTATIVE OF ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. LADY GAGA AND PEOPLE LIKE HER ARE WHY THE TERRORISTS HATE US. LADY GAGA IS A TERRORIST. A CULTURAL TERRORIST. AND SHE DESERVES TO BE SENT TO GUANTANAMO BAY SO SHE CAN BE WATERBOARDED AND FISTFUCKED BY ANGRY AMERICAN SOLDIERS! LADY GAG MAKES BABY JESUS CRY, AND SHE IS THE DEVIL!

(Hey, I wouldn’t be doing my job as a blogger if I did not make extremist and unwarranted attacks on people I don’t even know)

Oh, and if you care, Lady GaGa recently went out of her way to disprove those “secret penis” rumors. Here is the proof:

"Look Ma! No penis!"

That is one gnarly roast beef sandwich.

An uneccessary close-up.

I'm ok with cellulite because I like big asses.

That vacant expression means she either hates her life or that she is really fucking stoned. (Notice that someone finally told her that putting some underwear on would be a good idea)

Sassafras: [looking confused] Nothing. 

DeScepter: Why not? 

Sassafras: Because I’m not Catholic. 

DeScepter: So? 

Sassafras: Ok fine, I’ll give up sex. How about that? 

DeScepter: No! Don’t do that! 

Sassafras: Why not? 

DeScepter: Because… Jesus… hates… abstinence. 

It made me giggle.

Now read this press release put out earlier this week:

LOCOMOTIVE ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

DELIVERS A VALENTINES DAY

SPECIAL FOR DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Tyrannosaurus Sex Premieres February 14^th on Discovery Channel

At 10PM ET/PT

New York, NY, February 9, 2010 –– Birds do it, bees do it, and now with the magic of CGI, we can watch dinosaurs do it.  This Valentine’s Day, February 14^th at 10pm ET/PT on Discovery Channel, Locomotive Entertainment Group will premiere Tyrannosaurus Sex.  The one-hour special explores the mysteries, wonders and newest evidence surrounding ritual courtship and mating habits of dinosaurs.  How did a ferocious T-Rex woo his lady? How did a female Titanosaur support the weight of a male who was as long as a four-story building is high? How did a Stegosaurus couple negotiate sex with all those deadly plates and spikes?

“It is something they never showed us in the Jurassic Park films, that much I can tell you,” said Director and Locomotive President Gabriel Gornell.  “Throughout the production process the support we received from the team over at the Discovery Channel has been unbelievable. We could never have pulled this off without them. “

Tyrannosaurus Sex doesn’t just answer the questions, it shows dinosaur sex in all its glory with state-of-the-art CGI animation.  The scenes created for the special are all based on fact.  Interviews with scientists on the cutting-edge of palaeontology bring new life to one of the last mysteries of these mighty giants.

Tyrannosaurus Sex premieres on Discovery Channel February 14^th at 10pm ET/PT Eastern, for mature audiences only.

I guess dreams really do come true.

Thank you Discovery Channel!

lol he fat lol

Now come some words:

Dude, I didn’t eat anything yesterday until real late at night. I was on my way home, so I stopped and got some hot wings to go. It took all of my willpower to not pull over and eat those fuckers right on the roadside. You know how hard it is to drive when you are starving and your car is filled with the aroma of wings? It is HARD. Also, the roads were icy and it was snowing, so driving sucked. Then I got home and I was all like “NOM NOM NOM CHICKUM I WUB U”, and it was so tasty.

Now you post another funny picture because that was a lot of reading for people to do:

lol fail lol